Darul Uloom Trinidad & Tobago

In our last article, we discussed the concept of Hijab in Islam as it related to the voice of a woman from the Quranic teachings. It was shown that a woman (in Islam) is required to be very cautious/ conscience of speaking in front of non blood relatives (males) so that those in whose hearts there is evil, will not be allured and enticed. In the previous article, we also showed that a woman was far different from a man with respect to her being, qualities, disposition and most of all her soft, tender and private nature. It is on account of these, Allah has given a tremendous amount of beautiful teachings that relate to the conduct and behavior of a woman. Through these teachings, it is expected that she would be able to protect and preserve her womanhood, respect and dignity. From among these beautiful teachings, a woman (in Islam) is also commanded to refrain from the open intermingling and mixing with the opposite sex, especially with those who are not blood related (to her).

This conduct of the ‘open intermingling’ has created and brought about many problems and has destroyed many marriages. It is the key to becoming involved in unlawful relationships and it is the entrance to sinful actions.

Human experiences have shown that when a male begins to interact with a female, then a sort of attraction and likeness gradually develops over a period of time. Even if people are innocent and free from evil thoughts, the domination of one’s inner emotions and feelings soon take the lead, and a person finds himself/herself in a position where he/she becomes some-what inclined to the other. The little smile, the soothing voice, and the soft spoken words are nothing but tools of Satan, which he uses to lure a person to evil thoughts and unlawful desires. Short moments of interaction and mixing between the male and female, soon develop a relationship that may be long lasting or short lived. In any case, many sins are the result of this ‘open mixing’ that we see in today’s world. Even among many Muslim women, this is something that has ‘gotten out of hand’ and in numerous cases, we find that a number of Muslim girls become very friendly with Muslim boys. The ‘courting’ and ‘going out’, the long hours of talk over the phone, the texting, and the ‘roaming about’ has become part of their lives. These sins have brought such a pleasure to many of our youths, that they do not feel a sense of guilt of the grave sins that they are committing. In this behavior, there seems to be no difference between a Muslim and a non Muslim, and instead of turning to the path of divine guidance in Islam, they allow themselves to be gobbled by the western culture.

Many Muslim parents have lost their daughters to ‘drug addicts’ and ‘street boys’ because of their relaxed behavior towards ‘the free mixing’. Many see it as ‘no problem’, however when the result of this dawns upon them, they are not ready to accept it. Today a number of our young Muslim boys and girls are involved in many haram (unlawful) activities, and it seems that the parents have become blind to what is taking place in our society. They allow their young sons and daughters to ‘lime with friends’ , ‘go to the camps’, ‘live on their own’ for higher education and ‘to have a little bit of freedom’. However, when these boys and girls ‘mix and mingle’ and ‘no longer remain single’ the parents are quick to put strict restrictions on them saying, ‘no phones’ ‘no friends’ and ‘no liming again’. They even go to the extent of forcing the girl to marry someone against her will, only to avoid her from marrying the ‘boyfriend’ whom she picked up while exercising her ‘right’ to ‘mix and mingle’ as okayed by her parents.

There are many other disastrous situations like this, and it is all on account of the privilege of ‘the open and free mixing and mingling of the sexes’ which many parents give to their children.

Besides this, the distasteful effect of the ‘free mixing’ is also seen at another level. This occurs with Muslim married men and women who, ‘while seeing it as no problem’, continue to mix freely with the opposite sex. This takes place, to a large extent, in the work place where free and open intermingling between the opposite sexes is seen as a normal and casual thing.

Knowing that ‘emotions have no bounds and feelings have no limits’, we find that even though men and women have been married, the open and free mixing with the opposite sex brings about a new dimension in their lives, which eventually leads to the ruination of their marriages. Many illicit relations have taken place and many marriages have been broken. A lot of cheating and dishonest behavior has taken place, all on account of the wicked and evil culture that is referred to as ‘the open and free mixing of the sexes’.

How many husbands have lost their wives? And how many wives have lost their husbands? due to the ‘free mixing’. The numbers are too many and the disaster is too grave.

How true are the words of the Prophet (SAS) who said, ‘No man sits alone with a woman except that Satan is their third companion’. (Tirmizi) It means that Satan is there with them, trying his best to incite them with evil intent and thoughts and tempting them to fall into his trap of wrong doing.

The harms that come about to both sexes as a result of free mixing is now becoming clear to Westerners who have practiced free mixing on the widest scale. They have seen that it leads to a fall in standards of education, conduct and morality and have now begun to segregate male and female students in some universities of education. A number of great Muslim educators, who have visited Europe, America and Russia, have witnessed this segregation. For example, Professor Ahmad Mazhar Al Azmah who was sent by the Syrian Ministry of Education to Belgium, visited a number of schools there. On a visit to a girls’ elementary school, he asked the principal, ‘Why do you not let boys and girls mix at this level of education?.’ She replied ‘we notice the harm that mixing can do to children even at the elementary level’. (Shaksiyah Al Mar’ah Al Muslimah pg. 80) In America, there are more than 170 University branches in which male and female students do not mix. They were set up because the educators and supervisors noticed the harm that was caused by mixing, even in a society that is used to mixing in every area of social life.

The evidence of the harm caused by open and free mixing between the sexes is too vast to be enumerated. All of it points to the wisdom in putting an end to mixing, and protecting the Muslim societies which adhere to Islamic guidance from its destructive, harmful effects.

It is in this regard, Allah has given the law of modesty which outlines to the Muslims, both men and women that they must protect their hearts and eyes from lustful thoughts and gazes.

In this respect the Holy Quran states:-
‘(O Prophet) Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them. And Allah is well aware of what they do’.(24:31)

Here, men have been ordered by Allah to lower the gaze so that it may not fall upon that which has been prohibited to look at. This includes looking at a woman, her body and beauty with lustful and evil intentions.

It is clearly understood that when it is not allowed to gaze/ stare at women, then to a greater extent, one will not be allowed to freely mix with them since this causes him to violate the law of ‘lowering the gaze’.

Men have also been ordered to protect their modesty by adopting a conduct and behavior that conforms to the high level of morality and virtue which Allah Has given to them. It therefore means that in one’s speech, movements, behavior and conduct, a man must refrain from doing any thing that amounts to immodest, immoral or shameful behavior.

In a similar manner, women have also been commanded by Allah to protect their modesty by lowering their gaze. Allah says, ‘And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty’. (24:31)

The law which is established in this verse for both men and women is that of ‘Ghadd-al basar’ which means the lowering of the eyes/gaze. The objective of this order is to stop people with evil intentions from casting lewd looks at others. It is a known fact and it is witnessed on a daily basis, that when the intermingling of the sexes occur, then it becomes totally impossible for one to lower his/her gaze. Open and free mixing of the sexes cause the gaze of a person to be uncontrolled, and no matter how much a person may try to implement ‘the order of Allah’ to lower the gaze, it is found to be extremely difficult, because of the compromising position one has found himself to be in. It therefore shows that mixing and mingling of the sexes cause one to openly violate the law of Allah, which has been given to the believers, both males and females.

The above verse of the Holy Quran also establishes the law for women that they must not be in such state/place where people are encouraged and invited to look at them. Allah Has ordered men to lower their gaze, and He Has also ordered women to lower their gaze. Both these injunctions clearly tell us that it is totally haram (unlawful) in Islam for one party to look at /stare at the other party when there is no valid shariah reason for doing so. Men have been ordered to refrain from casting lustful gazes or casting looks with bad intentions to women. Women have also been ordered to refrain from being in such states/places which encourages the looks and gazes of men. This law tells us clearly that the modern day trend of girls’ placing their photos on ‘facebook ‘ on the internet, is totally haram, and a grave sin in Islam.

Muslim women and girls who are guilty of this are openly violating the command of Allah in the Holy Quran, and are neglecting the teachings of the Prophet (SAS). Women and girls who behave in this manner are deemed to be unchaste and immodest in Islam. They are no different from the ill mannered western women who display themselves to enticed and attract the opposite sex. Men and young boys on the other hand, take advantage of these situations, and use this opportunity to repeatedly cast evil and lustful glances at these pictures that are placed by our ‘Hayaa-less, immodest’ Muslim women and girls on the so called modern-day facebook. It is extremely sad and highly disappointing to see that our Muslim women/girls have fallen to this Satanic trap. It seems that they have sold their honor and modesty for the price of being noticed by men. What a deplorable state! The Islamic law to these women/girls who are guilty of this major sin is that they must immediately remove their photos from the facebook and sincerely repent to Allah for this grave wrong.

This prohibition also includes the act of Muslim women/girls placing their email addresses, contact numbers etc. on the internet where men /boys have the full liberty to contact them and be their ‘so-called friends’. The ‘chat box’ also has the same prohibition. Today it is extremely sad to know that many Muslim sisters are involved in these haram activities with no sense of guilt. They seem to enjoy what they are doing and continue to carry-on this haram type of ‘interaction’, and ‘communication’ over the internet, thinking that it is ‘normal’ and ‘okay’. These, my dear sisters, are totally condemned in Islam and are regarded to be haram. So please stay away from these activities for the preservation of your honor, respect and your Imaan.

The Holy Quran has also ordered the believers to guard their modesty and chastity, and a great part of modesty and chastity is that a Muslim woman should not find herself with any male who is not blood related to her. The common scene of Muslim boys and girls ‘liming’ with each other, whether alone or amongst others, is totally haraam (unlawful) in Islam. This behaviour ruins the reputation of both the boy and girl, and in the eyes of the Shariah they are termed to be without Haya, that is, ‘shameless’ (a person lacking shame or Haya).

In different verses of the Holy Quran, Allah has revealed many guidelines/injunctions which are aimed towards minimizing, and cutting off ‘the open and free mingling’ of the sexes. In Islam, ‘privacy’ and ‘being concealed’ are sublime qualities of a woman, and these are loved by Muslim women. A Muslim woman sees it as unchaste and immoral to be ‘open’ and ‘free’ in speaking to males that are not related to her. She considers it mean and immoral to be seen ‘liming’ with boys/men, and she finds a natural dislike within herself to be alone with a man who is not married to her or is not a blood relative.

These feelings are on account of the natural instinct and ingrained quality which a woman is created with. Those who go against this natural inclination to love privacy and modesty, are actually altering and changing the pure nature which has been placed in every cell and nerve of their body by Allah, the creator of mankind.

It is in order to preserve this modesty, shyness, privacy and honour, Allah has issued many guidelines to Muslim women. In one verse Allah says to them, ‘And play your role by being in your houses and do not keep exhibiting your beauty and decorations like what used to happen in the days of ignorance’ (33:33)

While commenting on this verse, the great Mufassir (commentator) of the Holy Quran, Abu Bakr al Jassas writes, ‘This verse points out the fact that women are ordered to play their role in the house and are forbidden from loitering outside of their houses’. (Ahkaamul Quran)

Continuing in the same manner of discouraging the open and free mixing between men and women, Allah says, ‘and when you ask women for an article, ask for it from behind a curtain. This is a purer way for your hearts and theirs’. (33:53)

Guidelines such as these are given to safeguard men and women against evil inclinations which may come about due to the open and free mixing with each other. In this manner, there are many other verses of the Holy Quran, which order Muslim men and women to adhere to the laws of modesty and chastity, by refraining from the ways of the non Muslims in the matter of free and open mingling of the sexes. The West sees this as ‘no problem’ and they decorate this behaviour, with the word ‘socializing’, only to make good, a thing which is bad. Muslims should not fall to this trap, and they should not be caught in the bait of those fishing for followers. We must remember that the culture that invites us to this behaviour is the same one that has given the license for ‘homosexuality’ and ‘lesbianism’. It is the same culture that supports the recent disrespect shown to the Prophet (S.A), and it is the said culture that condoned the desecration of the Holy Quran and Masaajid, which recently occurred. With these wrongs to their credit, how can Muslims who possess the light of Imaan, follow such mean trends and traits which are all found on ‘loose and licentious behaviour’.

The blessed Prophet (S.A) has warned us about being with women alone and has said, ‘Beware of being with women alone’. One of the companions asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what about the younger or the elder brother of the husband?’ The Prophet (S.A) replied, ‘He is death’. (Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi).

In another tradition, the Prophet (S.A) said, ‘Do not call on women alone in the absence of their husbands, because Satan moves in you like blood’. (Tirmizi)

These traditions show clearly that the Prophet (S.A) strongly discouraged and prohibited men from being with women alone and vice versa. The disastrous and shameful result of this behaviour is well witnessed by many people, and even if there were no religious prohibitions, good sense and the love for decency would have been sufficient to disprove this conduct. This prohibition also includes the free mixing and mingling of the sexes even when they are amongst others and are not alone. It is for this reason, we see that when women visited the Masjid (for Salaah) at the Prophet’s time, he would order the men to remain seated in the Masjid until all the women have left. Even in the case where the women came out for Eid Salaah, he (the Prophet S.A) placed them in a separate area where they did not mix with the men, and after the Salaah, there was no so called ‘socializing’ between the males and females as we see today. The Prophet (S.A) was very firm on this law, and he did not allow any situation to arise which brought about the open mixing and mingling between the sexes.

In short, Islam condemns the conduct of ‘open and free mixing between the sexes’ and guides the believers to that which is purer for their conduct and their hearts. Historical facts and personal testimonies have shown the ugly side of this behaviour, and we continue to witness the breakdown in families, the divorce and separation cases, and the pre marital unlawful relations that result on account of this ‘loose’ and ‘free’ behaviour. This fact has been plainly stated by the Encyclopedia Britannica. Commenting on the increasing rate of divorce, separations and breakdown in family relations in Western society, it states, ‘Actors, authors, and other groups that have many contacts with the opposite sex tend to have a high divorce frequency’. (Encyclopedia Britannica (1984) vol.7 pg.163).

This Western report links the high rate of divorce and breakdown in family relations to the regular open and free mixing and contacts between the sexes. This is significant in that it proves that the degree of freedom of the sexes in society has a marked bearing on the instability of married life.

As Muslims, we have been given the Holy Quran as our Book of guidance. Our duty is to follow its teachings as explained by our beloved Prophet (S.A). Insha Allah, if we do this, then our lives will continue in this world with respect and dignity and we, as well as our family members, will be protected from the many evils that surround us.