Darul Uloom Trinidad & Tobago

Q. Are you allowed to have sexual relations with your partner (wife) during ramadaan or even allowed to show affection, kiss, etc.? If you are not allowed to have sexual intercourse without marragie can you masturbate during ramadaan?

A. During the nights of Ramadhan (when one is not in the state of fasting), it is permissible to have sexual relations with one’s wife and kiss her with passion etc. However, during the day while one is observing the fast, these are not permissible.

As for one who is not married, it is totally haraam (unlawful) for him to masturbate in Ramadhan and out of Ramadhan. This is indeed a thing that is despicable and a sin in Islam. While writing on this topic, the great scholar Sheikh Abdullah Naasih Al Ulwaan has written the following in his book, ‘Tarbiyatul Awlaad Fil Islam’. He states:

The curse of Masturbation
The anathema (malediction) of masturbation is very common among young and adolescent boys. One reason for this habit is the unrestricted movement of women on the streets, in the market places, and at recreation centres. Women go about in tight-fitting and revealing garments, unmindful of the presence of men.

Obscene scenes in plays and films promote sexual self-indulgence. Periodicals and magazines that contain romantic and sexual matters lead young boys and girls to shamelessness and adultery.

Youngsters who are not inspired by the fear of Allah Ta’ala and the consequences of their actions, are apt to gratify themselves by committing adultery and other unlawful acts, or by resorting to self-indulgence. These harm the body, the mind and affect one’s psychological health.

Body health
A person who masturbates becomes weak and thin, and is liable to tremble. Palpitation increases. Memory becomes weak. The digestive system is impaired. Inflammation of the lungs occurs, threatening to develop into tuberculosis. One may become anaemic.

Sexual health
Impotency is the natural outcome of masturbation. A boy who has indulged in the habit of masturbation is not capable of marriage when he grows up. If he does marry, his wife hates him and often husband and wife may divorce. If the woman is pious, she would become afflicted with tuberculosis. If she is not pious, she might involve herself in unlawful acts.

Psychological and Mental health
A person who masturbates is a psychological case, and is liable to serious mental illnesses like forgetfulness, loss of memory, weak determination, preference for solitude, extreme shyness and fear, laziness and lethargy, being sorrowful or scheming some crime or suicide.

Injunctions of Shariah in this regard
The act of masturbation is despicable. It is a grave sin and is unlawful. The noble Quran commands the guarding of private organs. The Quran states, ‘Successful indeed are the believers…… And those who guard their chastity. Except from their wives or slaves that their right hands possess – for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that then those are transgressors’. (23: 1,5,6,7)

With the exception of sexual intercourse with one’s wife or slave girl, all forms of sexual satisfaction are unlawful and these include adultery, homosexuality and masturbation. On the day of Qiyamah, the hands of those who masturbate will become pregnant. It is narrated from Ata, the student of Abdullah bin Abbas and the great Tabiee scholar that he said, ‘I have heard that some people would be gathered on the day of judgement and their hands will be pregnant. My opinion is that these people will be those who used to masturbate”. Such people are punished in this world too. The great Tabiee scholar Saeed bin Jubair (A.R) has said that ‘Allah punished an entire nation in the past because they used to seek pleasure through their private organs by masturbating. They will be deprived of the mercy of Allah Most High’.

It is forbidden to use whatever is injurious and harmful, yet, under certain circumstances, masturbation may be overlooked if done to protect oneself from adultery and fornication.

The elimination from this habit
Early marriage is a perfect, beneficial and natural remedy for this dangerous addiction.

Nafl Saum
If for some reason it is not possible to marry at an early age, nafl saum (voluntary fasts) may be kept. By observing saum, lustful thoughts are curbed and thus one’s sexual urge is reduced. Further, fasting promotes fear of Allah Ta’ala and creates humility.

There are various kinds of nafl saum. One is the Saum Daawuudi (the fasting of Dawood A.S) which means fasting every alternate day. Nafl saum is also kept on Mondays and Thursdays, six days during the month of Shawwal, the ninth and tenth of Muharram, and on any day with the intention to cool a sexual urge.

Shun whatever excites sexual thoughts
Young people destroy themselves if they pursue things that incite emotions. They become like animals. Parents/Guardians must keep control over their offspring. They must keep children away from gatherings and opportunities that tempt them, or where they may come across women in revealing or tight-fitting attire, listen to romantic tales or read pornographic, suspense or vulgar novels and magazines, hear music and indecent songs or view such films.

Engage in fruitful pursuit
Do not permit children to sit alone when they have nothing to do. Their imaginations run wild and sexual passions are aroused. Show them how to spend their time properly so that they do not get arousing and lustful ideas. Keep them busy with physical exercise, pure recreation, sensible reading, religious lessons, archery and marksmanship.

Good company
It is important to select good and pious companions for children. Such friends may guard them from erring and although they are rare, they are found everywhere. Search for them and let your children spend their time with them. Remember, people imitate their friends (Tirmizi). Therefore, to strengthen Imaan, character and physique, keep away from evil companions and adopt the company of virtuous people. (Sura Zukhruf, 43:67)

Act on medical advice
Doctors of medicine give the following suggestions on how to restrain lustful desires and sexual urges.

– Have cold baths in summer.
– Engage in physical exercises and sports. (Some doctors recommend special exercises to curb lustful desires).
– Abstain from spices and all types of food that excite sex.
– Cut down on tea, coffee and invigorating beverages.
– Reduce intake of meat and eggs to a minimum.
– Do not lie down flat on the back or on the stomach. Rather lie on the right side in compliance with the Sunnah.

Fear Allah Ta’ala
When fear of Allah is rooted in a person, all sinful and evil acts will be shunned. One will then realise that Allah is watching, and is aware of everything, whether apparent or hidden. One will take account of every excess and every omission of duty. Allah Most High will punish the disobedient and the cruel.

Young people must attend scholarly gatherings and assemblies where Allah Ta’ala is eulogised. One must offer one’s Fard Salaah and make it a habit to offer nafl Salaah and recite the Quran Kareem. One must cultivate the fear of Allah Most High, the habit of Muraqabah (contemplation), and the realisation of His majestic powers. This is possible when one accustoms oneself to arise in the dead of the night for Tahajud Salaah, keeps nafl saum, listen to the chronicles of the noble Sahabahs (R.A), spend time with the pious people, keeps contact with the righteous, and remembers death and the Hereafter. Therefore, develop such habits so that one is not drawn into temptation and sensuality. Remember that the punishment for disobedience and sinning is the fire of Jahanam”. (Tarbiyatul Awlaad Fil Islam)

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Waseem Khan