QUESTION:
As Salaamu Alaikum,
Since I got married it’s almost 10 yrs. I started wearing hijab at 21 I am now 31. I wore hijab because I wanted to. I wanted to be the perfect Revert wife. 10 years into my marriage as a Revert, as a hijabi, my husband give up his gaming ways then he started it back. He started using vulgar obscene language, stuff he hid from me. Never saw this side of him. I’ve heard about it through his parents but he is this perfect example guy. Next thing I realize he started shutting out, my words. It’s like I give you what you want just shut up and leave me to my game. I am struggling, I no longer want to wear hijab. I am 31 years old and as an adult I realize I no longer that 19- or 20-year-old girl he once knew. I will wear proper clothing outside. But hijab I don’t want to wear it no more.
ANSWER:
Wa Alaikum As Salaam,
As Muslim, we have been ordered in the Holy Quran to do everything only for the sake of Allah and to please Him.
Therefore, wearing the Hijab should be done only for the sake of Allah. You may have started to wear it because your husband asked you to do so, or you wanted him to be happy with you. But above all of that is the fact that Allah would accept your good actions only when you do it for His sake.
Therefore, your wearing of the Hijab was only for Allah. It showed your obedience to Him, and that you wanted to become a true/sincere Muslim woman.
It is unfortunate that your husband is behaving in the manner that you have described. However, his actions must never deter you from being obedient to Allah. You are fully accountable to Allah in this world and you will also be fully accountable to Him when you return to Him in the hereafter.
The law of wearing Hijab is one which Allah Has given to women in the Holy Quran and so, they will be accountable to Him for not fulfilling this law.
Regardless of the behavior of your husband and the state of your present marriage, you still need to be an obedient servant of Allah because He is your creator, your Lord and Sustainer, and to Him you shall return one day.
Different situations would always confront you in your worldly life, good and bad. If you react to every bad situation by giving up part of your beautiful religion, then what will become of your religion eventually.
Please know that Allah Has given you life, good health and every good thing that you enjoy. He Has showered upon you many favors, and protected you from many harms. It is therefore, only fair that you repay him with obedience and sincere worship.
Whatever you decide, remember that one day you will return to Allah, and you will have to give an account for your actions, just as everyone would do.
What you have mentioned regarding the actions of your husband is very wrong and disappointing, however, this cannot be a cause for you to outrightly disobey Allah, your Creator.
May Allah make everything easy for you and grant you steadfastness in obeying Him.
Darul Uloom Trinidad and Tobago
17/2/2023